Closing cycles. Shutting doors. Ending chapters

The last day of the year in 2010. It was such a bittersweet year for me. Much joy and the equal amount of sadness and hurt.

2011 - will be a year of new beginning in many fronts for me. I'll embark on newness in life.
As such, there is a need to close cycles and end chapters.

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.

Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.

Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened.

You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved.

Everyone is finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.

Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.

That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home.
Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts – and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.
Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them.

Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood.
Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment.”

Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person – nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life.

Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.

Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.

Happy 2011 everyone. Out with the old, in with the new. Let's make it awesome.

If I had my life to live over

Of course we can't unfry an egg, but there is no law against thinking about it.
We all think of what if...I could just go back and do over. What would I have done differently?
I know I think about it all the time..some were merely regrets, others were things I could have done better.

An interesting look at this issue written by Don Harold:

If I had my life to live over, I would try to make more mistakes.

I would relax. I know of very few things that I would take seriously.
I would go more places. I would climb more mountains and swim more rivers.
I would eat more ice cream and less bran.

I would have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary troubles.
You see, I have been one of those fellows who live prudently and sanely, hour after hour, day after day.
Oh, I have had my moments. But if I had it to do over again, I would have more of them – a lot more.

I never go anywhere without a thermometer, a gargle, a raincoat and a parachute.
If I had it to do over, I would travel lighter.

If I had my life to live over, I would pay less attention to people telling us we must learn Latin or History; otherwise we will be disgraced and ruined and flunked and failed.
I would seek out more teachers who inspire relaxation and fun.

If I had my life to live over, I would start barefooted a little earlier in the spring and stay that way a little later in the fall.
I would shoot more paper wads at my teachers.
I would keep later hours.

I’d have more sweethearts.
I would go to more circuses.
I would be carefree as long as I could, or at least until I got some care- instead of having my cares in advance.

I doubt, however, that I’ll do much damage with my creed.
The opposition is too strong.
There are too many serious people trying to get everybody else to be too darned serious.

Unconditional Acceptance: Do you have it?

I read a very inspiring story today that brought tears to my eyes.
Often we find it hard to accept people; we are forever judging others.
See how you are able to relate to this...



I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12 and 3) and have recently completed my college degree.
The last class I had to take was Sociology.

The teacher was absolutely inspiring with the qualities that I wish every human being had been graced with.

Her last project of the term was called, 'Smile'.
The class was asked to go out and smile at three people and document their reactions.
I am a very friendly person and always smile at everyone and say hello anyway. So I thought this would be a piece of cake,
Literally.
Soon after we were assigned the project, my husband, youngest son and I went out to McDonald's one crisp March morning. It was just our way of sharing special playtime with our son.
We were standing in line, waiting to be served, when all of a sudden everyone around us began to back away, and then even my husband did.

I did not move an inch...An overwhelming feeling of panic welled up inside of me as I turned to see why they had moved.
As I turned around I smelled a horrible 'dirty body smell' and there standing behind me were two poor homeless men.
As I looked down at the short gentleman, close to me, he was 'smiling'.

His beautiful sky blue eyes were full of God's Light as he searched for acceptance..

He said, 'Good day' as he counted the few coins he had been clutching..

The second man fumbled with this hands as he stood behind his friend. I realised the second man was mentally challenged and the blue-eyed gentleman was his salvation.

I helf my tears as I stood there with them. The young lady at the counter asked him what they wanted.

He said, 'Coffee is all Miss' because that was all they could afford (If they wanted to sit in the restaurant and warm up, they had to buy something. He just wanted to be warm). Then I really felt it - the compulsion was so great I almost reached out and embraced the little man with the blue eyes.

That is when I noticed all eyes in the restaurant were set on me, judging my every action.

I smiled and asked the young lady behind the counter to give me two more breakfast meals on a separate tray. I then walked around the corner to the table that the men had chosen as a resting spot. I put the tray on the table and laid my hand on the blue-eyed gentleman's cold hand.

He looked up at me, with tears in his eyes, and said, 'Thank you'.

I leaned over, began to pat his hand and said, 'I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope.'

I started to cry as I walked away to join my husband and son...When I sat down my husband smiled at me and said, 'That is why God gave you to me, Honey, to give me hope..'

We held hands for a moment and at that time, we knew that only because of the Grace that we had been given we were able to give. We are not church goers, but we are believers.

That day showed me the pure Light of God's sweet love.

I returned to college, on the last evening of class, with this story in hand. I turned in 'my project' and the instructor read it. Then she looked up at me and said, 'Can I share this?'

I slowly nodded as she got the attention of the class. She begab to read and that is when I knew that we as humab beings and being part of God share this need to heal people and to be healed.

In my own way I had touched the people at McDonald's, my son, the instructor, and every soul that shared the classroom on the last night I spent as a college student.

I graduated with one of the biggest lessons I would ever learn: Unconditional Acceptance.

Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to:

Love people and use things. NOT love things and use people!

Are you able to give others Unconditional Acceptance?

Choosing the path

An interesting short story to share about choosing the right path...

“I am willing to give up everything”, said the prince to the master. “Please accept me as your disciple.”

“How does a man choose his path?” asked the master.

“Through sacrifice,” answered the prince. “A path which demands sacrifice, is a true path.”

The master bumped into some shelves. A precious vase fell, and the prince threw himself down in order to grab hold of it. He fell badly and broke his arm, but managed to save the vase.

“What is the greater sacrifice: to watch the vase smash, or break one’s arm in order to save it?” asked the master.

“I do not know,” said the prince.

“Then how can you guide your choice for sacrifice? The true path is chosen by our ability to love it, not to suffer for it.”

Shut up..and pay attention...

A beautifully written poem by Laura Strickland. A reminder to all of us to shut up, pay attention and focus on the important things in life before it's too late. No regrets, peeps!

Life is so precious,
And each day is a gift.
So enjoy every minute,
As it were your last to live.

Cherish your loved ones,
Hug them tight,
Share with them your heart,
And your time.

Nothing is forever,
And life goes so fast,
Each minute that passes,
Is one you can’t get back.

When troubles arrive,
And knock you off your feet,
Stand up and smile,
And remember life is too sweet.

Every morning when you wake,
Decide right from the start,
That “Today will be a good day”
And let it all in with an open heart.

Life is precious!

When I got home from work today, mom shared with me a very sad story about a dear friend, Ray. I came to know Ray from my dad. He's a family friend. He looks up to my dad like he's own father as he lost his when he was very young.

He's a young man who is extremely kind and generous and works very hard to take care of ageing mother and siblings. It's hard to believe that he's a very successful self-made millionaire, yet extremely down-to-earth. He has everything going for him; he's good-looking, always has a smile on his face and made everyone comfortable with his mere presence. Just a gem of a person. I've not seen him for about two years, today he called saying he wanted to see dad and say goodbye cos he was dying of cancer. I was dumb-founded by this. How can God make such a kind-hearted person suffer? I was trying to close my eyes to nap but my thoughts keep going back to Ray and his family. Ray and the big smile he always had on his face whenever he saw me.
And then of course, I kept thinking of my angel, Ron. Ronald's cheeky smiles, I missed so much.

Mom told me that God loves good people and wants them with him. I answered, I can't believe He keeps the horrible, hurtful, crappy ones here on earth.

Life is precious isn't it? We always forget how precious cos we are so caught up by either all the happy moments in our lives or we are too bothered and complain about the horrible ones.
Have we ever thought about those suffering especially during this season of advent? Let's say a prayer and keep those whom are suffering (and their families too) in our thoughts.

The Digital Story of Nativity

It is without doubt that technology has changed the way we do things, view things and even celebrate things. In line with Christmas, the birthday of Jesus; we remember the Story of Nativity. Which simply refers to the accounts of the birth of Jesus.

Enjoy this interesting digital glimpse of the Story of Nativity. Blessed Christmas everyone.

Santa

Since it's Christmas Eve, I will give tribute to Santa Claus. Every kids favourite person during this time of the year.

Edwin Grover onced said that "Santa Claus is anyone who loves another and seeks to make them happy; who gives himself by thought or word or deed in every gift that he bestows".

How dreary would the world be if there was no Santa Claus! There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence.

Wisdom

A short story to share....

Hoping to impress his master, a student of the occult whom I know read some manuals on magic and decided to buy the materials mentioned in the texts. With considerable difficulty he managed to find a certain type of incense, some talismans, a wooden structure with sacred characters written in an established order.
When we were having breakfast together with his master, the latter commented:
“Do you believe that by rolling computer wires around your neck you will acquire the efficiency of the machine? Do you believe that by buying hats and sophisticate clothes you will also acquire the good taste and sophistication of those who made them?

“Objects can be your allies, but they do not contain any type of wisdom. First practice devotion and discipline, and everything else will come to you later.”

My thought : We acquire wisdom through knowledge+intuition+ experience+mistakes+pain! When we … learn our .. lessons -which are different for each one of us – then we become … WISE. But as Socrates has said: I know one thing, that I know nothing!

The moment to decide

I just have to share this wonderfully appropriate story which clearly reflect my feelings and thoughts right now. God have never fail to provide signs for me to find my way when I'm lost. Sometimes the signs are not clear cut answers but always a direction for me to focus on and not be afraid.

The warrior of the light is terrified when faced with important decisions.

“That is too great for you,” says one friend. “Go on, be brave,” says another. And his doubts only increase.

After some days of anxiety, he withdraws into a corner of his tent, where he usually sits to mediate and pray. He sees himself in the future. He sees the people who will benefit and lose out because of his actions. He does not wish to cause unnecessary suffering, but nor will he abandon the path.

So the warrior allows the decision to appear.

If he must say yes, then he shall bravely say it. If he must say no, then he shall say so without fear.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘So the warrior allows the decision to appear…..’

This is what we need to learn, allowance…

I need to learn to cross the intersections listening to my heart and following the signs.

All Good Things

They say "All good things come to those who wait".

Three days ago, I received news on something I've wanted and waited for the past year. When I received the good news, I had a reaction that I was really strange. I had doubts and mixed feelings about this very thing I've wanted so long to received. I wasn't sure whether it was for me. I had doubts whether it would be a good thing or not in my life. Whether it was the right path to take in this journey of my life.

I spent my weekend thinking of whether I should accept this offer given to me. Ironically I came across this very insightful phrase on Twitter. Strangely I felt it was an answer to my question, written solely for me.

"You deserve all good things that happen to you. Don't feel guilty".

Prayer of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is one topic I don't want to think about nor write about cos of many reasons. It's a difficult topic for me; one that I'm still struggling to comprehend and learn, let alone practice.

Forgiveness is an act of the will, not a feeling.

If we are able to pray for a person's well being then we can be assured that we have forgiven that person.

Forgiveness is a life-long obligation.

Daily we need to forgive those who hurt or injure us. Are you able to do this?

Forgiveness is a topic that has been on my mind on various occasions this week as I struggle to forgive someone who is no longer a part of my life. I still can't let go of the hurt, though I want this person go be away, far away from my life so that I can be free of these emotions.

I read this interesting poetry by Coelho called the Prayer of Forgiveness (not really an actually prayer in that sense of the word but still pretty awesome).

The tears I shed, I forgive.
The suffering and disappointments, I forgive.
The betrayals and lies, I forgive.
The slandering and scheming, I forgive.
The hatred and persecution, I forgive.
The punches that were given, I forgive.
The shattered dreams, I forgive.
The dead hopes, I forgive.
The disaffection and jealousy, I forgive.
The indifference and ill will, I forgive.
The injustice in the name of justice, I forgive.
The anger and mistreatment, I forgive.
The neglect and oblivion, I forgive.
The world with all its evil, I forgive.

Grief and resentment, I replace with understanding and agreement.
Revolt, I replace with music that comes from my violin.
Pain I replace with oblivion.
Revenge, I replace with victory.

I will be able to love above all discontentment. To give even when I am stripped of everything. To work happily even when I find myself in the midst of all obstacles. To dry tears even when I am still crying. To believe even when I am discredited.

After reading this beautiful thoughts on forgiveness, I lower my head and ask God "Thy will be done, Thy will be done".

Healing the Soul

Today's post is gonna be a short one; on healing the soul.

Read an interesting phrase on healing. Something I've been thinking about recently especially since it's the season of advent.

"Healing may not be so much about getting better, as about letting go
of everything that isn't you--all of the expectations, all of the beliefs--
and becoming who you are."

Is there a reason for ordeals?

This is perhaps a sign for some 'questions' I've been asking myself.
We should all learn to 'not complain till we understand the reason of our ordeals. An interesting short story from Coelho that reflects this message.

A man was sleeping at night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light. An angel appeared, showed a large rock in front of his cabin and asked him to push against the rock with all his might.

This the man did, day after day. For many years he toiled from sun up to sun down, his shoulders set squarely against the cold, massive surface of the unmoving rock.

Nothing happened. And he decided to make it a matter of prayer.
“Lord I have labored long and hard in your service, putting all my strength to do that which you have asked. Yet, after all this time, I have not even been able to budge that rock. What is wrong? Why am I failing?”

The angel appeared again :
“My friend, I told you that your task was to push against the rock with all your strength. Never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. And now you come to me with your strength spent, thinking that you have failed. But, is that really so?”

“Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled, your back sinewy and brown, your hands are callused from constant pressure, and your legs have become massive and hard.
“Through opposition you have grown much and your abilities now surpass that which you used to have.
“You learned the importance of discipline and training,

” This you have done. Now it is my turn, my task.”

And the angel moved the rock, showing to the man a beautiful path ahead.

We often wait for answers (and messages) and then don’t even listen to what is being said.
If you are asked to walk, then walk.
God will arrange the destination but you just have to walk.
Listen, and take heed of what is actually being said.

Forgotten Culture

This post will be on my vacation memories. I've travelled to many places near and far, but today's post will give mention to Penang. With its' beautiful beaches and its' delicious food, people often overlook the fact that Penang has an array of culture to fall back on. The photos selected will focus on the cultural aspects of Penang.

Crossroads

Where does my heart beat now? Where does silent hearts go?
I'm listening to Celine Dion's 'Where does my heart beat now?' with tears in my eyes..Today I got some very promising news; it's something I've wanted for the past year.

You can say that things are looking up for me and slowly falling into place. The place that I want it to be and have longed hope for it to be but somehow I feel this tinge of sadness in my heart.

I know this sounds really crazy but I have mixed feelings. I don't know why I have these mixed feelings. I wish it would just go away and my decision will be so much easier.

Maybe I'm not as prepared as I would like to be. I've wanted this all year but somehow in my heart, perhaps I thought I'll never get it so I wasn't prepare for it to actually happen.

If I take the right path, this could be a very good thing.

Or it could end up very ugly, too. What do I do?

As I'm thinking of this, I read Paulo Coelho's blog and come across something very appropriate; perhaps written for someone like me. It seems like a sign for me.

Coelho has a very interesting thought in his blog:
The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.

Live. Laugh. Love

I was recently asked 'what am I inspire to...'? I'm supposed to write this on a sheet of paper and a photo will be taken (why a photo?, don't ask..it's a work thing).

I've been thinking about this for the past two days...I don't want to say someone inspires me cos every day I see people whom inspire me to be a better person. But instead I was looking for 'words' that I'm inspire by...cos I love the written word so it's only natural to think of words.

And I've come up with these three words, which can mean so much more than what it does...
Live. Laugh. Love.

Live life at its fullest.
Laugh at things that don't matter.
Love with all that you have and more.

Reflection of Life

Reflection of Life and what it is supposed to be..
God's many creation...and I managed to capture these beautiful place with my humble little Lumix.

This is a shot of the entrance of Uncle Neil's farm in Euroa, Victoria, Australia. I remember this cold winter day in July like it was yesterday. The family had so much fun at the huge farm. I had a blast riding at the back of Uncle Neil's pick-up truck in the farm with Lavie..it was so cold, I couldn't feel my hands but it was an Australian Safari I will never forget.

A Conscious Choice

The world is filled with things to despair about, to be critical of, or to be angry about. But to make the world a better place, isn't it wiser to focus on our potential, to motivate rather than to denigrate?

Cynics often mistake optimism for naivete, hopeful thinking for simplistic thinking.
I say cynical thinking, like insults, rarely contributes to a better world.

Of Wit and Wisdom

A wise man once said, let your heart be your guide. I always believed that the pages ahead (in any book) will speak to your heart as much as to your mind; if only you let it. You might discover some interesting people and learn some interesting thing as you read on.

My dad made me crazy in love with books and reading since I was a kid. This is one of the many things we share in common; besides sports, politics and culture.
Today he showed me a book he bought from Reader's Digest. I would say it's a beautifully-compiled treasure: it has 4,000 of the funniest, cleverest, most insightful things ever said by famous (and infamous) people of all walks of life. I've only read til page 59 and I discovered a paragraph so beautiful and significant in life (something we should be reminded of every day).
Even though you may want to move forward in life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life - Mary Manin Morrissey.

What is it you would let go of today? I can think of a few things and people who I would like to be 'free of'. I hope to release the hurt.

The sky is of no limit

I truly enjoy taking photos of the sky, everywhere I go. I see so many possibilities in the sky and to be able to capture such beauty is beyond me. I see peace and calmness in the sky and the colours it bring to many lives. Often we see beauty in things around us, but how many times have you look up and cherish the beauty of the sky; what it has to offer you?

These are only some of the few photos taken of the sky while I was walking in Melbourne's Brunswick area during the winter's twilight in July.

Touched by an angel

I realised I've given tribute to many of my fave authors whom are male. So today's post is to offer tribute to Maya Angelou, an extraordinary woman. She was the first black woman director in Hollywood, Angelou has written, produced, directed, and starred in productions for stage, film, and television. She wrote this beautifully composed poem titled "Touched by an angel".

We, unaccustomed to courage
exiles from delight
live coiled in shells of loneliness
until love leaves its high holy temple
and comes into our sight
to liberate us into life.

Love arrives
and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure
ancient histories of pain.
Yet if we are bold,
love strikes away the chains of fear
from our souls.

We are weaned from our timidity
In the flush of love's light
we dare be brave
And suddenly we see
that love costs all we are
and will ever be.
Yet it is only love
which sets us free.

Life should be a 'beach'

People say a picture paints a thousand words...so for this post it's all about beautiful scenes I've been so lucky to witness and capture with my humble little Lumix. These are some of the photos taken in Penang during a short break; a week before my birthday.

Happiness is an inside job

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said "Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must carry it with us or we find it not".

Happiness in life comes from the inside. It does us little good to sit back and wait for it to come from outside sources. This is an important lesson I'm learning everyday.

I remember reading in Richard & Kristine Carlson's book, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Love this very interesting piece of advice:

Many popular songs on the radio carry the message "You make me happy, I would be lost without you; you are my world". This way of thinking takes away all the responsibility to make yourself happy and gives it to someone else. That is an enormous amount of pressure to put on another person.

Staying Focused

It's been rather difficult to stay focused today, especially since I found out some unpleasant things that were said about me by some very ungrateful people yet they seem nice in front of me.
Why do I keep attracting those horrible people to my life and Why am I even being kind to those undeserving? I wonder how much can a person take before they break. I pray that God just take away all these unpleasantness from my life. All I ever ask is to be happy. I need to develop thicker skin to handle these situations....I have such a weak heart. It gets broken easily.

Anyway, I tried to focus on my reading today...to seek some sort of intervention from how I'm feeling today.

An interesting short story about staying focused on the things that you want in life.

As a little girl, I often tackled a task full of enthusiasm, only to become discouraged quickly. One bright summer day my father showed me an experiment with a magnifying glass and a newspaper. When he moved the glas over the paper from one place to another, nothing happened. But when he held it motionless in one spot for a while, focusing the sun's rays, a hole appeared.

I was fascinated, but didnt grasp the significance of the procedure. Father explained that the same principle applied in everything we do: That to make a success of our lives we must learn to concentrate all our efforts on the undertaking in hand until it is finished.

Random thoughts on the other man

It's been one of those long days which feels like it will never end. You get a feeling deep in your gut that life is nothing but a routine everyday, and there seems to be nothing to look forward to...

So to keep my spirits up, I've re-read a book on the other fave author in my life: Kahlil Gibran, Lebanese American poet, artist and writer. Most of Gibran's work deals with Christianity, especially on the topic of spiritual love.

Gibran's best-known work is The Prophet, a book that composed of twenty-six poetic essays. Since it was first published in 1923, this book has never been out of print. Having been translated into more than forty languages, it was one of the bestselling books of the twentieth century in the United States. And I'm so proud to say I owe a beautiful hardcover copy of this book which was given to me as a X'mas gift two years ago by my sister and Jackson.

Some of my fave Gibran's random yet, beautifuls words:

1) Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.

2) Advance, and never halt, for advancing is perfection. Advance and do not fear the thorns in the path, for they draw only corrupt blood. All that spirits desire, spirits attain.

3) An eye for an eye, and the whole world would be blind.
If the other person injures you, you may forget the injury; but if you injure him you will always remember.

4) Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children.

5) I wash my hands of those who imagine chattering to be knowledge, silence to be ignorance, and affection to be art.

6) And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.
If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don’t, they never were.

7) If you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work.

8) If you reveal your secrets to the wind, you should not blame the wind for revealing them to the trees.

9) If your heart is a volcano, how shall you expect flowers to bloom?

10) Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need.

11) Faith is a knowledge within the heart, beyond the reach of proof. Faith is an oasis in the heart which will never be reached by the caravan of thinking.

12) Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is its twin brother.

The Fire of Friendship

I read this beautiful story in my fave author - Paulo Coelho's pages. Something to ponder upon.

Once upon a time there was a poor but very brave man called Ali. He worked for Ammar, a rich old merchant.

One winter’s night Ammar said: “nobody can spend a night like this on top of the mountain without a blanket or food. But you need money, and if you can manage to do that you will receive a great reward. If you don’t, you will work for thirty days without pay”.

Ali answered: “tomorrow I shall do this test”.

But when he left the shop, he saw that a really icy wind was blowing and became scared, so he decided to ask his best friend, Aydi, if it was crazy of him to accept that bet.

After reflecting a while, Aydi answered: “I shall help you. Tomorrow, when you are at the top of the mountain, look ahead. I will be on the top of the mountain next to yours, where I will spend the whole night with a bonfire lit for you. You look at the fire and think about our friendship – that will keep you warm. You will manage, and later on I shall ask you something in return.”

Ali won the test, got the money, and went to his friend’s house: “You told me you wanted some payment.”

Aydi answered: ”Yes, but it isn’t money. Promise that if at any time a cold wind passes through my life, you will light the fire of friendship for me.”

Taking Responsibility

I'm sure that no topic has stimulated more interest or more discussion than that of taking responsibility for your life. It is the notion that despite what happens to us, we have the capacity to choose our responses - be it our attitudes, thoughts and actions in our lives.

It's a concept that suggests that on the climb up any ladder of success there is no room for just sitting back and idly hoping for luck or woefully waiting for better circumstances. A recent circumstance at work brought about this thought.

The best way to predict our future is to create them.

As such, the principle of responsibility is one of the most powerful, life enhancing, life changing principles we have at our disposal if we just learn how to master and channel it toward worthwhile purposes.

The more we accept responsibility for who we are and who we can become, the greater will be our progress and responsibility.

As George Bernard Shaw once said " people are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I do not believe in circumstances. The people who get on this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they cannot find them, make them".

My thoughts on philosophy

I've been reading abit on philosophy this week when I should be reading and grading my students research reports; not very productive on the work front but very productive in my critical development as an individual.

This is my discovery from my limited reading on this topic. Greek Stoic philosopher Epictetus (AD55-AD135) once said that "All philosophy lies in two words: sustain and abstain.

First learn the meaning of what you say, and then only speak those words. So very true for many of us; most of the time we say things we don't mean and we say things that are misinterpreted by others which most of the time causes conflict. Think before you speak, bite your tongue if need be; for you will be able to avoid confrontations.

All religions must be tolerated… for every person must get to heaven in his/her own way. Who are we to judge when we are often judged by others.

Be careful to leave your children well instructed rather than rich, for the hopes of the instructed are better than the wealth of the ignorant. We often judge someone's success by material means they have (or we have), but the character and attitude of a person should be the ultimate criteria for judging success.

If evil be spoken of you and it be true, correct yourself, if it be a lie, laugh at it.
Do not seek to bring things to pass in accordance with your wishes, but instead wish for them as they are, and you will find them.

It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.
It is not he/she who reviles or strikes you who insults you, but your opinion that these things are insulting. This is sometime I'm learning everyday and I do find it hard at times. Most often we look at the things that happen to us rather than our reaction towards it.

Make the best use of what is in your power, and take the rest as it happens.
First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do, to make it be.

Freedom is not procured by a full enjoyment of what is desired, but by controlling the desire. Is freedom anything else than the right to live as we wish? Nothing else. Know, first, who you are, and then adorn yourself accordingly and do it with humility.

No greater thing is created suddenly, any more than a bunch of grapes or a fig. Patience is indeed a virtue. Nothing is built overnight; not even love sadly to say; it takes lots and lots of hard work and effort. Let it first blossom, then bear the fruit that is ripen.

No man is free who is not master of himself. God has entrusted me with myself. Make the most of it. Do good, be kind, show the world the warmth of your smile, always have a kind word or two & most of all; have humility as it is the essence of life itself. For people will remember you for your humility rather than your material wealth when you die.

Just my Wednesday morning thoughts. And what are your thoughts?

Attention: Giving More of Yourself

Dag Hammarskjold once wrote: It is more noble to give yourself completely to one individual than to labour diligently for the salvation of the masses.

Sometimes people mistakenly think that finding meaning in life requires making a huge contribution that impacts millions. But often the most meaningful and lasting contributions or acts of charity are those that occur in small, one-on-one ways when attention is given to a solitary individual.

I'm sure when you ask people to identify a person who has been greatly influential in their lives, typically they do not respond with a person who performed some great act of courage or excelled in a particular talent. Rather, most of us describe people who took time out of their busy schedules to focus their attention on us as individuals - to make us feel important by including us in their lives; if only for a moment.

One thing that sets people apart - that lifts them above the others - is that, regardless of the size or nature of their organisations, they never forget the worth of an individual.

A little attention can mean a whole deal to a mere individual. Because each of us are ultimately a one. So to know that there are people in the world who recognise our value is truly heart-warming. Sometimes we all need to be reminded that we are individually important - unique persons of worth.

As Richard Moss said " the greatest gift you can give another is the purity of your attention".

The Convention for those Wounded in Love

I've loved Paulo Coelho - the writer extraordinaire for years now. He writes for the soul like no other I know. I've been an avid follower of his blog for awhile now. Everything he writes just warms the heart. If I could pick anyone to have a conversation with, he would be my choice without doubt.

Yesterday I read something really heart-warming that he wrote about those wounded in love. As mentioned people usually think about those whom are wounded in war, never those wounded in love. I like to share what he has to say about this...

General provisions:

A – Whereas the saying “all is fair in love and war” is absolutely correct;

B – Whereas for war we have the Geneva Convention, approved on 22 August 1864, which provides for those wounded in the battle field, but until now no convention has been signed concerning those wounded in love, who are far greater in number;

It is hereby decreed that:

Article 1 – All lovers, of any sex, are alerted that love, besides being a blessing, is also something extremely dangerous, unpredictable and capable of causing serious damage. Consequently, anyone planning to love should be aware that they are exposing their body and soul to various types of wounds, and that they shall not be able to blame their partner at any moment, since the risk is the same for both.

Article 2 – Once struck by a stray arrow fired from Cupid’s bow, they should immediately ask the archer to shoot the same arrow in the opposite direction, so as not to be afflicted by the wound known as “unrequited love”. Should Cupid refuse to perform such a gesture, the Convention now being promulgated demands that the wounded partner remove the arrow from his/her heart and throw it in the garbage. In order to guarantee this, those concerned should avoid telephone calls, messages over the Internet, sending flowers that are always returned, or each and every means of seduction, since these may yield results in the short run but always end up wrong after a while. The Convention decrees that the wounded person should immediately seek the company of other people and try to control the obsessive thought: “this person is worth fighting for”.

Article 3 – If the wound is caused by third parties, in other words if the loved one has become interested in someone not in the script previously drafted, vengeance is expressly forbidden. In this case, it is allowed to use tears until the eyes dry up, to punch walls or pillows, to insult the ex-partner in conversations with friends, to allege his/her complete lack of taste, but without offending their honor. The Convention determines that the rule contained in Article 2 be applied: seek the company of other persons, preferably in places different from those frequented by the other party.

Article 4 – In the case of light wounds, herein classified as small treacheries, fulminating passions that are short-lived, passing sexual disinterest, the medicine called Pardon should be applied generously and quickly. Once this medicine has been applied, one should never reconsider one’s decision, not even once, and the theme must be completely forgotten and never used as an argument in a fight or in a moment of hatred.

Article 5 – In all definitive wounds, also known as “breaking up”, the only medicine capable of having an effect is called Time. It is no use seeking consolation from fortune-tellers (who always say that the lost lover will return), romantic books (which always have a happy ending), soap-operas on the television or other such things. One should suffer intensely, completely avoiding drugs, tranquilizers and praying to saints. Alcohol is only tolerated if kept to a maximum of two glasses of wine a day.

Final determination:
Those wounded in love, unlike those wounded in armed conflict, are neither victims nor torturers. They chose something that is part of life, and so they have to accept both the agony and the ecstasy of their choice.
And those who have never been wounded in love will never be able to say: “I have lived”. Because they haven’t.

I recently reconnected with one of my closest friend, Helena again. We've gone through so much together in the past decade, she knows me well. She shared with me a book she was currently reading by Max Lucado called When God Whispers Your Name.

One of the chapters' that caught my attention was on the choices we make in our life everyday...It's a beautiful chapter, I wanna share here..

The Choice

by Max Lucado

IT’S QUIET. It’s early. My coffee is hot. The sky is still black. The world is still asleep. The day is coming.

In a few moments the day will arrive. It will roar down the track with the rising of the sun. The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day. The calm of solitude will be replaced by the pounding pace of the human race. The refuge of the early morning will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met.

For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day’s demands. It is now that I must make a choice. Because of Calvary, I’m free to choose. And so I choose.

I choose love . . .

No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love. Today I will love God and what God loves.

I choose joy . . .

I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance. I will refuse the temptation to be cynical . . . the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I choose peace . . .

I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.

I choose patience . . .

I will overlook the inconveniences of the world. Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I’ll invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray. Instead of clinching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I choose kindness . . .

I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. Kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I choose goodness . . .

I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I will accuse. I choose goodness.

I choose faithfulness . . .

Today I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My wife will not question my love. And my children will never fear that their father will not come home.

I choose gentleness . . .

Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice may it be only in praise. If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer. If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.

I choose self-control . . .

I am a spiritual being. After this body is dead, my spirit will soar. I refuse to let what will rot, rule the eternal. I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my faith. I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ. I choose self-control.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. To these I commit my day. If I succeed, I will give thanks. If I fail, I will seek his grace. And then, when this day is done, I will place my head on my pillow and rest.

From When God Whispers Your Name
Copyright (Thomas Nelson, 1999) Max Lucado

Success Principles: Is there such a thing?

I recently read an article about Canfield and his new book, the Success Principles: How to Get From Where You Are To Where You Want To Be, which the author recently expounded at a seminar. He illustrated some interesting points to ponder upon (numbered in red and my personal take on the points he made):

1. Take 100% responsibility for your life and your results (often when things go wrong, we tend to push blame on others, when we should have taken responsibility for our own actions)

2. Be clear why you are here (here we ask ourselves what is my life purpose; make that purpose as clear as possible)

3. Decide what you want (we want so many things, it's hard to pinpoint. sometimes what we need is more important than what we want)

4. Believe in yourself (like many people out there, I too forget this vital ingredient to success as an individual)

5. Unleash the power of goal-setting (always set measurable goals and specific time lines to achieve such goals...it's like the SMART objective in PR..hehehe..)

6. Chunk it down (often our task seems huge but by breaking them into manageable ones, we would be able to take action step by step)

7. Release the brakes (this sounds like learning to drive for the 1st time...but it's actually forming a habit of using affirmations or positive statements to help you be in a state of accomplishing goals)

8. Use the power of visualisation (this is very much my thing - learned in NLP...visualise all your goals and results and run through the feeling of having already completed them)

9. Take action (nothing happenss..without actually taking action...you want something..make an effort to get it)

10. Experience your fear and take action anyway (this one is all about taking risks in life..cos you just never know!!)

11. Ask, ask, ask (this one I strongly believe in...God said: Ask and you will receive)

12. Reject rejection (a pretty hard one to do if you ask me..)

13. Network (a pretty important thing in the working world...)

14. Develop four new success habits a year (an interesting statement...something I should think about though I've never thought about it..)

15. Pay yourself first (it's all about saving money - at least 10% of what you earn and investing in it...something I'm learning...cos I just love spending everything on travelling and seeing the world)

16. Ask for and respond to (always give people feedback so as to clarify yourself)

17. Practice uncommon appreciation (this is something KDU and many other organisations need to learn to do...appreciate their staff with an understanding attitude...it's not always about the money)

18. Exceed expectations (always trived to exceed your expectation in life...reach for the stars)

19. Keep your agreements (this one I totally hold on to...my word is my bond..I never make promises I can't live up to)

20. Mastermind your way to success (this means working with the right people with the right attitude who have the similar goals of success...often hard to locate these people)

21. Practise persistence (I am a patience person..often too patient for my own good..but persistence is way harder)


This is my take on Canfield's 21 Key success principles...what's your?

Paradox

There is a paradox involved in the basic quality of human existence. Our hands touch solid objects, our eyes see shapes and colours, our everyday horizons are narrow; yet there are times when the soul seems to stand on hilltops and to glimpse immense vistas of meaning.

When I was recently on a trip, I felt this immense feeling. This feeling is not confined to saints or poets or philosophers - we all have it at certain moments of happiness and relaxation; if we are fortunate enough.

It seems somehow realer than the trivialities of everyday existence. And this is the paradox.

Personal Missions

Sometimes our most thought provoking moments occur when we find time to record what we feel is the essence of our existence in a succinct statement.

Such statements can become our personal constitution - which is the framework for making our life-directing decisions.

I found my personal mission in the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson:
'To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you lived. This is to have succeeded'.

The Last Straw

I read with interest the story about JetBlue Flight attendant Steven Slater recently. Slater flipped out over a fight with an agitated traveller whom hit him on the head while he was trying to calm her down (I'm sure not his first encounter with crazed air travellers) on Aug 9, cursing over the intercom before grabbing some beer from the plane's galley and making a grand exit down the emergency slide at Kennedy Airport.

I'm sure many of us have thought of doing the same (well not the exact way Slater did) and just walking out but we hold back for many reasons.
When the cubicle starts to feel more like a prison than a calling?
When the bossiest boss has a smile that was just too smug? When the piddling wage seemed not to be worth the aggravation?

Defying the rules, telling people off and walking off a job is not usually a launching pad for public admiration and acclaim.
I believe only a handful of people have fulfilled Slater's fantasy in such grand fashion: leaving his job via the plane's emergency chute, with a beer in hand.

Slater's last words on the loudspeaker: "Those of you who have shown dignity and respect these last 20 years, thanks for a great ride".

I'm sure Slater's sudden exit has rekindled memories of workers' liberation as well as sparked wishful excitement amongst workers who have long fantasised of choosing pride over pay.

What's going on with Slater now: the poor guy is now facing felony charges as prosecutors said Slater's actions could have been deadly if ground crew workers had been hit by the emergency slide, which deploys with a force of 1,360kg per sq/in.
I say it was worth the consequences.

Celebrate Life?

There's been a whole load of things on my mind recently.
Today, a stranger taught me a valuable lesson through her words.
In today's newspaper, I came across a story about Regina Brett, a famed journalist and a cancer survivor. Her words were on her views on life and how she survived cancer.

What struck me most of the one-page article was the following:

A lot of us hit bumps on the road of life.
We make mistakes we wish we can take back.
We wish to go back to the very moment to change things (I know I for one wishes that)
We worry that our lives aren't perfect, that we're somehow not doing what we should be.
We look at other people and feel we've failed in some way.

Brett in her article, reminds me that the truth is that it's OK to have a messy life and get things wrong.
It's OK to go after something and fail to achieve it.
And we shouldn't be afraid of not being perfect or fear the failure we encounter.

Instead, we should embrace the life we have and live every moment to the full as though it's your moment on stage, in the spotlight.
But this is easier said then actually getting it done.
Sometimes it takes people a lifetime to find and hold on to happiness.

What's your Talent?

The past month or so, I've been reading this amazing book which ironically I did not buy for myself. I actually got this book as a gift for someone dear whom I thought needed some good motivation. I did not get the opportunity to give her this gift before she left for her studies so I kept the book and decided I would read it to see whether it was any good (especially as a gift for a dear friend).
Fate would have it...the book seemed like it was meant for me more than anything. It gave me the kind of 'reminders' I have since forgotten in my life. I needed to be reminded how to look at life again in different perspectives in order for things to work in my favour.

This book is now my Lesson(s) of the Day.

Today is about Talent. What is your talent? And how much have you done to capitalized on it?
I always wish I had talent in music and especially art which I love so much. But of course I don't.
This book reminds me that 'Talent' doesn't have to mean you paint a masterpiece.

Caring genuinely for people is a talent some people have & other wish they could have. Teaching is a talent. Making people around you feel welcome is a talent. Being able to solve a problem is a talent. Being a good parent is a talent.

We should never measure our abilities against others. Do what you can do. Accept what talents you have. Fulfillment should come from developing your gifts, not wishing for someone else's.

So what's your talent?

Watch your thoughts

I've been very disturbed recently with some 'thoughts' i should not be focusing on...I'm trying hard to get these thoughts outta my mind but it's not working out too well. Last night before sleeping, I was reading, which is my night routine. I came across a passage which was ironically meant for me.

"If there's something in your life you don't want, stop worrying about it and stop talking about it!
The energy you put into it keeps it alive.
Withdraw your energy and it goes away".

I need to put my energy into something else soon. Until I truly let go of something emotionally, only then it will evaporate completely.

A Little Miracle

I have so much readings to complete in relations to work, however I'm more interesting in reading other unrelated yet more interesting articles. I wonder why? Need a boost.
Reader's Digest has some of the most inspirational stories I've read.


A Little Miracle

It was March 3, 2001, and as a fourth-year medical student I had just started my obstetrics rotation in a rundown, sparsely equipped government hospital in Manila. My co-clerks and I referred to the hospital as a "baby factory." During a 24-hour period, it was not unusual for the staff to attend to the birth of 180 babies.

This particular day, which was also my 25th birthday, marked my first ever shift working in a delivery room. I felt ill-prepared for the coming onslaught of women giving birth. I felt inexperienced, and half the time I was praying that I wouldn't drop the slippery infant as he came out to the world.

I soon got the hang of things. During deliveries, I would encourage the mothers by saying "Push, Mummy, so we can see if your baby is a girl or a boy!" In this hospital, women often saw a doctor for the first time on the day they were about to give birth. Finding out the sex of the infant was usually enough motivation for them to push with all their might.

Around 10 p.m. - 15 hours into my shift - a patient was brought to my delivery table. She was in her late 20s, fair-skinned and with long straight hair. It was her second pregnancy, and she was weeping softly. The woman had come to the emergency room because she had not felt her baby kicking for several days. She had a brown foul-smelling discharge that reeked of death, and doctors could not detect a heartbeat using a Doppler ultrasound. The baby, she was told, was dead.

It was my job to deliver the stillborn infant. I wondered why this poor woman wasn't given a Caesarean to ease her suffering, but I assumed that, since this was a busy hospital, no operating theatres were available. Besides, the obstetric resident told me that it would an "easy delivery" because the baby was dead and the mother had given birth before. She said I should have the baby out in less than 30 minutes.

For the first time that night, I was silent. How could I convince this woman to push, just so she could deliver her dead child into the world?

After almost an hour, the resident returned and asked me why it was taking so long. I whispered that I could feel the infant's head, but the mother just wasn't pushing enough. I asked if I could speed up the delivery by doing an episiotomy, a small incision to enlarge the birth canal. She nodded her approval.

I quickly made the incision and felt the baby pop into my hands. He was a lovely little boy, weighing about three kilos. As was normal practice, I placed the infant on a sterile sheet I had draped over the mother's abdomen. She looked at her dead son, then turned her head away. I was quiet the whole time. There are simply no words to say to a woman who has just given birth to a dead infant.

As I started to suture the incision I had made, I heard a small cough. I looked up at the baby, who was still on the mother's belly. Then I heard the loveliest and loudest sound in my life. He was screaming his lungs out! All I could say was, "Mummy, your baby is alive!" over and over again. Her soft cries turned into convulsive happy tears. "Doctor, thank you for bringing my child to life," she said repeatedly.

It was the most memorable birthday I ever had. Nothing compares to that magical moment when I experienced the wonderful miracle of birth and learned first-hand that doctors are not gods. By all accounts, the infant should have been dead. It was then I realised that if I were to make a mistake as a doctor, this was the kind I would not mind making - to be proven wrong by a patient who turns out to be alive when I thought he was dead.

I never found out what happened to that woman and her baby after they were discharged. But I will never forget them. They made me believe that miracles do happen.

The Last Song

I watched the Last Song, a movie inspired by Nicholas Sparks' book.
He has been one of my fave young writer since uni - the day Gabriella bought me his book - Message in a Bottle. I remember staying up all night reading this book with tears in my eyes.
I still wonder how he writes women so well...he surprisingly understands women and how they feel and he puts those feelings in words.

And from those words to beautiful written books which will never fail to bring tears in your eyes. The Last Song being his latest. The movie much like the book was well written and the songs amazing. I've not been a fan of Miley Cyrus but her character - 'Ronnie' was well written; it could be cos Sparks did write the screenplay of the movie even before he finish writing the novel.

It is not only a story of first love, of coming-of-age but most importantly a story of love between a parent and a child. Only a Spark novel can demonstrate the many ways that a deeply felt relationship can break our hearts and....heal them.

I love the song - When I look at you....

Everybody needs inspiration
Everybody needs a soul
A beautiful melody
When the nights so long

Cause there is no guarantee
That this life is easy..

When my world is falling apart
When there’s no light to break up the dark
That’s when I, I…
I look at you

When the waves
Are flooding the shore and I can’t
Find my way home anymore
That’s when I, I…
I look at you

When I look At You I see forgiveness
I see the truth
You love me for who I am
Like the stars Hold the moon
Right there where they belong
And I Know I’m Not Alone

My Bucket List

I finally watched the 'Bucket List'. It has been on my list of must-watch movies but I can't ever find the time. Surprisingly, I managed to find time during 'one of those days' when you feel awful and just don't wanna get out of bed and I'm glad I did. I was in tears throughout the movie.
I don't know whether the movie made me feel better or worse but I did learn a thing or two to take with me in life.

One of the lines that caught my attention was about death (of course) and how death is viewed.
The ancient Egyptians had a beautiful belief about death. When their souls got to the entrance of heaven, the guards asked two questions. Their answers determined whether they were able to enter or not.
‘Have you found joy in your life?’ 'Has your life brought joy to others?'
I believe that these are questions we should ask ourselves everyday.

As such I have come up with my bucket list:

i) To witness something majestic
ii) To feel so much joy & contentment in my heart (that I'm ready to leave the world)
iii) To have my dad walk me down the aisle to the man whom promises me a life full of laughter and affection
iv) To help a total stranger
v) To kiss the MOST beautiful boy in the world
vi) To bungee jump/sky-diving
vii) To see the pyramid of Giza
viii) To experience Prague & Athens

and the list will be grow over time....as I decide what else I want in my life before I hit the bucket.