From the desk of Jesus

I never meant to hurt your heart.
I never wanted to be apart.
But God called one day, and said "It's time".
I eagerly replied, "Your will be done O Lord, not mine".
Life was great, just not the same.
Since Jesus spoke and called my name.
To mould me, and shape me, to be my best.
He allowed me to go through those character-building tests.
God sat besides me, and wept at every trial.
Holding my hand, He carried me from stringent to mild.
Then Jesus carefully explained His plan.
For me to help Him watch my family and friends.
So, although I may not be with you, I'm near when you call my name.
In your mind, I'd appear.
I'd be watching from a cloud and waiting patiently.
Keeping you safe til God calls you to join me.

Scribbling from the desk of Jesus.

Thought of you, Ron when I read the above cos it's what you would say.

Six months

Six months today, Ron. How fast time flies. Still can't believe you're gone. I'm sure you know what I'm going through these days. Things has been so hard for me; at work, at home. Today we said goodbye to my grandma, I'm sure you already know this. Please keep an eye on her in heaven and guide her to my grandpa. I'm sure you know I felt so bad when I saw her, lying 'asleep' cos I didnt make the effort to see her when I had the chance to do so. Seeing her lying 'asleep', made me remember seeing you for the very last time 6-months ago. Still can't believe I didn't have the chance; you were my 'could've been'.

Trying hard to take every day as it comes. Trying to hold on when I'm losing grip. Wish I can see your smile & for you to tell me that everything will be alright in your mischief tone. Please calm me, take all the anger, pain and tiredness and make everything better for me. Visit me in my dreams, Ron. Talk to me. Tell me what God would.