Attention: Giving More of Yourself

Dag Hammarskjold once wrote: It is more noble to give yourself completely to one individual than to labour diligently for the salvation of the masses.

Sometimes people mistakenly think that finding meaning in life requires making a huge contribution that impacts millions. But often the most meaningful and lasting contributions or acts of charity are those that occur in small, one-on-one ways when attention is given to a solitary individual.

I'm sure when you ask people to identify a person who has been greatly influential in their lives, typically they do not respond with a person who performed some great act of courage or excelled in a particular talent. Rather, most of us describe people who took time out of their busy schedules to focus their attention on us as individuals - to make us feel important by including us in their lives; if only for a moment.

One thing that sets people apart - that lifts them above the others - is that, regardless of the size or nature of their organisations, they never forget the worth of an individual.

A little attention can mean a whole deal to a mere individual. Because each of us are ultimately a one. So to know that there are people in the world who recognise our value is truly heart-warming. Sometimes we all need to be reminded that we are individually important - unique persons of worth.

As Richard Moss said " the greatest gift you can give another is the purity of your attention".

The Convention for those Wounded in Love

I've loved Paulo Coelho - the writer extraordinaire for years now. He writes for the soul like no other I know. I've been an avid follower of his blog for awhile now. Everything he writes just warms the heart. If I could pick anyone to have a conversation with, he would be my choice without doubt.

Yesterday I read something really heart-warming that he wrote about those wounded in love. As mentioned people usually think about those whom are wounded in war, never those wounded in love. I like to share what he has to say about this...

General provisions:

A – Whereas the saying “all is fair in love and war” is absolutely correct;

B – Whereas for war we have the Geneva Convention, approved on 22 August 1864, which provides for those wounded in the battle field, but until now no convention has been signed concerning those wounded in love, who are far greater in number;

It is hereby decreed that:

Article 1 – All lovers, of any sex, are alerted that love, besides being a blessing, is also something extremely dangerous, unpredictable and capable of causing serious damage. Consequently, anyone planning to love should be aware that they are exposing their body and soul to various types of wounds, and that they shall not be able to blame their partner at any moment, since the risk is the same for both.

Article 2 – Once struck by a stray arrow fired from Cupid’s bow, they should immediately ask the archer to shoot the same arrow in the opposite direction, so as not to be afflicted by the wound known as “unrequited love”. Should Cupid refuse to perform such a gesture, the Convention now being promulgated demands that the wounded partner remove the arrow from his/her heart and throw it in the garbage. In order to guarantee this, those concerned should avoid telephone calls, messages over the Internet, sending flowers that are always returned, or each and every means of seduction, since these may yield results in the short run but always end up wrong after a while. The Convention decrees that the wounded person should immediately seek the company of other people and try to control the obsessive thought: “this person is worth fighting for”.

Article 3 – If the wound is caused by third parties, in other words if the loved one has become interested in someone not in the script previously drafted, vengeance is expressly forbidden. In this case, it is allowed to use tears until the eyes dry up, to punch walls or pillows, to insult the ex-partner in conversations with friends, to allege his/her complete lack of taste, but without offending their honor. The Convention determines that the rule contained in Article 2 be applied: seek the company of other persons, preferably in places different from those frequented by the other party.

Article 4 – In the case of light wounds, herein classified as small treacheries, fulminating passions that are short-lived, passing sexual disinterest, the medicine called Pardon should be applied generously and quickly. Once this medicine has been applied, one should never reconsider one’s decision, not even once, and the theme must be completely forgotten and never used as an argument in a fight or in a moment of hatred.

Article 5 – In all definitive wounds, also known as “breaking up”, the only medicine capable of having an effect is called Time. It is no use seeking consolation from fortune-tellers (who always say that the lost lover will return), romantic books (which always have a happy ending), soap-operas on the television or other such things. One should suffer intensely, completely avoiding drugs, tranquilizers and praying to saints. Alcohol is only tolerated if kept to a maximum of two glasses of wine a day.

Final determination:
Those wounded in love, unlike those wounded in armed conflict, are neither victims nor torturers. They chose something that is part of life, and so they have to accept both the agony and the ecstasy of their choice.
And those who have never been wounded in love will never be able to say: “I have lived”. Because they haven’t.

I recently reconnected with one of my closest friend, Helena again. We've gone through so much together in the past decade, she knows me well. She shared with me a book she was currently reading by Max Lucado called When God Whispers Your Name.

One of the chapters' that caught my attention was on the choices we make in our life everyday...It's a beautiful chapter, I wanna share here..

The Choice

by Max Lucado

IT’S QUIET. It’s early. My coffee is hot. The sky is still black. The world is still asleep. The day is coming.

In a few moments the day will arrive. It will roar down the track with the rising of the sun. The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day. The calm of solitude will be replaced by the pounding pace of the human race. The refuge of the early morning will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met.

For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day’s demands. It is now that I must make a choice. Because of Calvary, I’m free to choose. And so I choose.

I choose love . . .

No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love. Today I will love God and what God loves.

I choose joy . . .

I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance. I will refuse the temptation to be cynical . . . the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I choose peace . . .

I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.

I choose patience . . .

I will overlook the inconveniences of the world. Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I’ll invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray. Instead of clinching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I choose kindness . . .

I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. Kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I choose goodness . . .

I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I will accuse. I choose goodness.

I choose faithfulness . . .

Today I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My wife will not question my love. And my children will never fear that their father will not come home.

I choose gentleness . . .

Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice may it be only in praise. If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer. If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.

I choose self-control . . .

I am a spiritual being. After this body is dead, my spirit will soar. I refuse to let what will rot, rule the eternal. I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my faith. I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ. I choose self-control.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. To these I commit my day. If I succeed, I will give thanks. If I fail, I will seek his grace. And then, when this day is done, I will place my head on my pillow and rest.

From When God Whispers Your Name
Copyright (Thomas Nelson, 1999) Max Lucado

Success Principles: Is there such a thing?

I recently read an article about Canfield and his new book, the Success Principles: How to Get From Where You Are To Where You Want To Be, which the author recently expounded at a seminar. He illustrated some interesting points to ponder upon (numbered in red and my personal take on the points he made):

1. Take 100% responsibility for your life and your results (often when things go wrong, we tend to push blame on others, when we should have taken responsibility for our own actions)

2. Be clear why you are here (here we ask ourselves what is my life purpose; make that purpose as clear as possible)

3. Decide what you want (we want so many things, it's hard to pinpoint. sometimes what we need is more important than what we want)

4. Believe in yourself (like many people out there, I too forget this vital ingredient to success as an individual)

5. Unleash the power of goal-setting (always set measurable goals and specific time lines to achieve such goals...it's like the SMART objective in PR..hehehe..)

6. Chunk it down (often our task seems huge but by breaking them into manageable ones, we would be able to take action step by step)

7. Release the brakes (this sounds like learning to drive for the 1st time...but it's actually forming a habit of using affirmations or positive statements to help you be in a state of accomplishing goals)

8. Use the power of visualisation (this is very much my thing - learned in NLP...visualise all your goals and results and run through the feeling of having already completed them)

9. Take action (nothing happenss..without actually taking action...you want something..make an effort to get it)

10. Experience your fear and take action anyway (this one is all about taking risks in life..cos you just never know!!)

11. Ask, ask, ask (this one I strongly believe in...God said: Ask and you will receive)

12. Reject rejection (a pretty hard one to do if you ask me..)

13. Network (a pretty important thing in the working world...)

14. Develop four new success habits a year (an interesting statement...something I should think about though I've never thought about it..)

15. Pay yourself first (it's all about saving money - at least 10% of what you earn and investing in it...something I'm learning...cos I just love spending everything on travelling and seeing the world)

16. Ask for and respond to (always give people feedback so as to clarify yourself)

17. Practice uncommon appreciation (this is something KDU and many other organisations need to learn to do...appreciate their staff with an understanding attitude...it's not always about the money)

18. Exceed expectations (always trived to exceed your expectation in life...reach for the stars)

19. Keep your agreements (this one I totally hold on to...my word is my bond..I never make promises I can't live up to)

20. Mastermind your way to success (this means working with the right people with the right attitude who have the similar goals of success...often hard to locate these people)

21. Practise persistence (I am a patience person..often too patient for my own good..but persistence is way harder)


This is my take on Canfield's 21 Key success principles...what's your?