Lost and insecure, you found me.

I found God
On the corner of first and Amistad
Where the west was all but won
All alone, smoking his last cigarette
I said 'where you been?' He said 'ask anything' (so I asked God)
'Where were you'?
When everything was falling apart
All my days were spent by the telephone
It never rang
And all I needed was a call
That never came
To the corner of first and Amistad

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me

In the end everyone ends up alone
Losing her, the only one who's ever known
Who I am, who I'm not, who I want to be
No way to know how long she will be next to me

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me

Early morning, city breaks
I've been calling for year and years amd years and years
And you never left me no messages
You never send me no letters
You got some kind of nerve, taking all I want

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Where were you, where were you

Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lying on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you, where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me

Why'd you have to wait?
To find me, To find me

I love this song to bits...it expresses my feelings completely.

Calvin & Hobbes on death.

Calvin and Hobbes has been my favourite comic strip of all time. This comic strip pretty much sums up what being a kid is like. Constantly feeling out of sync with the rest of the world, and thus retreating to the world you create for yourself in your mind. Sometimes I feel the same way as Calvin does, so it is easy for me to relate to Calvin and the interesting life he leads. For a boy who has mischief on his mind all the time (without actually realising it), it's nice to see him having a heart and being emotional when losing something he loves.

Calvin and Hobbes in the comic strips above sums up what it feels like losing someone you cared about.

Thinking of you, Ron. Missing your mischief smile.

Aristotle

Aristotle once said 'Anyone can become angry' - that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way - this is not easy. It is really hard to be angry if you think of it. It actually takes purposeful effort to be angry with someone.

Erasing life?

Mistakes.
We all make them. Sometimes, if we're lucky, an eraser will do the trick, and we can rub it across the page. We can wipe away the dust and all that's left of our careless mess is a hardly noticeable smudge.

But some mistakes can't be erased. No matter how old or young we are.
I learned that life doesn't come with erasers.

Religion, etc

I have not written for more than a year, alot has happened since then. It's like a bad roller-coaster ride that makes you wanna gagged. But today is a new day and a new year and I wanna share my thoughts on religion and all the hype on who has the right of using the word "Allah".

It's real sad cos it seems that we are fighting over God. God would be saddened by this especially since there are more important things to be concern about in life.

I'm not even gonna dwell onto another religion and compared to see who is 'right' cos I'm no expert, let alone my own religion. But I remember something the Dalai Lama onced said " Every religion emphasizes human improvement, love, respect for others, sharing other people's suffering, etc". On this grounds, every religion has more or less the same viewpoint and same goal in life.

So the common rule to live by each day is :Do onto others as you would wish them do onto you.

Pleasing yourself

"If you are going to die your own death, you might as well live your own life".

Whenever we try to please other people, we make their feelings more important than our own. If we postpone our own pleasure and always put others first, even if we think we are doing so out of love, we end up disappointed in their response to us.

Somehow it's never enough when we try to please others, for us or for them.
We end up expecting too much. And this leads to resentment.

And soon life loses its pleasure, becos' we depend on other people to make us happy and we don't believe anyone truly can.

No one will ever knows how to please us the way we know how to please ourselves.

Hope, etc...

"Is there any hope?" Is one of the most often thought about phrase in my life and I'm sure in many other people's lives as well.

I realise that it's a tough, tough world we live in. At times in our lives we must face despair, whether it be the loss of a job, the death of a loved one, the breakup of marriage or relationship, illnesses or financial burdens.
There are also times in a person's life when he/she wakes up and realises that he/she is not the success they always planned to be.

Problems seem to pile upon problems, worries upon worries, and fear begins to dominate our lives. Tears flow more frequently. Sleep comes less easily. And we may begin to wonder why God doesn't seem to care, if God is really listening, or if God is even there at all.

I know these feelings cos I've faced these too. I've known great days when I could hardly wait to get up so that I could enjoy the challenge & opportunities of making things happen. On the other hand, I've experienced desperate times as well. I've known days when sleep would not come, days when I had to fight to hold back the tears. There have been times when I wasn't certain that I was loved or cared for and times when I questioned if God was near or if God was even real. Those are the tough times in life, the testing times in life.

Through all those times, I've learned that everyone must face his or her own Gethsemane. Everyone must come to a point of testing - a time that can make a person either bitter or better. When some people reach this point they simply accept defeat and give up; others refuse to allow the tough times to defeat them and persevere to overcome their difficulties.
How can you get up when you've knocked down? What can you do when all hope seems lost? Why do some seem to grow through the tough times, learn from them, and overcome overwhelming odds to step back on the path of success, happiness and hope?

Whether you emerge from trouble a better person or a bitter person depends not on what happens to you, but rather how you react to what happens to you.

I believe that failure is never final. We should draw strength and comfort from the knowledge of a living and loving God. A God that is a source of unconditional love, uncompromising acceptance, and unlimited power - power that can lift us out of the valley, bring us through the tough times and set us on a path of hope.

Choosing Happiness

Everyone I know is looking for happiness, including myself.
But happiness is not a goal in life. It is a result of doing what you like and relating honestly to other people. It's about being able to be alone, not having someone at your side. Some people need to have someone at their side, to justify who they are. This is not happiness, cos when the person leaves, you will be all alone and not be able to find your place in the world.

Happiness is about being your own person, making your own decisions, doing what you want becos' you want to do it, and living your own life to please yourself.

When we go through a difficult phase in life, we often stop to think why this is happening to me? But then again, I think we all have the ability to get over just about everything. And if we intend to be happy during this lifetime, we are going to have to get over alot of things all the time.

We need to let go of our unrealistic expectations of what we think life should be like so that we don't judge others and find them lacking and ungiving.

To find happiness we need to be our own person, not a pretender!